考博作文批改案例三

考博作文批改范例： W nVX)o  
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Good Health PPohpdd)  
The desire for good health is universal. Everyone wish（注意主谓一致） to have a healthy body cause （because） the（删掉） health is the most important. It can give us drival （删掉）strength. utQ_!3u  
In the society, many people don't to（删掉） pay much attention to their health. In my opinion, we can through eating to become ours.（这句话的意思是？） It is the best way to keep our （删掉）fit and save our money. As everyones known（as everyone knows）, the vegetables are a lot better at the health than the meals(改成vegetables are much healthier than meat). There is much (there are many) vitamins in it. The water is more important and the base on our  life(删掉，改成for our life). We shoule (拼写)drink eight cups of the （删掉定冠词）water everyday. Therefore we can full of the life （be full of energy）through the method. N ^)L@6  
As a university student, I have not much work. So I can do many excises usually in my free time. Such as swimming, running and badminton.(这不是一句完整的话，不能用句号结束，可以和前面一起连成一句话) Many practices can not only keep our（删掉） fit but also keep our body line（slim）. It is very well (good)to a girl. This is my method of keeping health. /P,J);Y  
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点评： JK,k@RE y]  
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　文章的结构安排还是比较合理的，但是内容不够充实，比较散乱。一定要加强句子之间的逻辑性。注意语法结构的正确使用。注意避免拼写错误。继续努力，加油！ x5{ zGv.j  
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