考博作文批改范例一

考博批改范例： \)hmg  
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Keeping Healthy （题目是固定的，不要随便更改，用给出的题目good health） N]~q@x;<)3  
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With the sharply quickening economy(这句话的表达很别扭，不符合语法结构，可以改成with the fast development of economy), both the (这里没有特指，所以删掉定冠词)students and people who has （注意主谓一致，用have）been aready （拼写错误）working for a long time confront much heavier burden than before. Mojority （拼写错误）of them have to keep tightening （这里表示高度集中用keep concentrating）all the time so that they have no time care ( to care) their health. however(注意句首要大写), it is significant to prevent us from illness because a perfect body could be a necessary tool for a successful creer（拼写career）. &Jz%L^  
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In my veiw（拼写）, much can be done to kee （拼写）fit. on（注意大写） the one hand, when we finish the work, making some practice （做些运动用doing some exercises更好）is a good way to burn the energy（不应该是消耗你的精力，充其量也就是脂肪吧，所以不如直接写keep fit好一点）. We should keep（keep没有花费时间的用法，用spend time in doing） at least half an hour doing some sports. A wonderful body can give us a (精神不可数，所以删掉冠词，不定冠词只用在可数名词单数前面)good spirit. On the other hand, a rational diet is another measure to keep not only healthy but also beautiful. }|;
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For myself（用宾格形式me）, swimming and running are the main exercese (注意拼写，用复数形式). Usually, I do not eat much high energy food like KFC. In a word, a good health is the most important for every one. @<+(40`*  
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点评： SU^/qF%8  
@: NrC76  
　　第一段的内容过多，而且第一段不必要举例说明某个人群需要健康，每人都需要健康。所以第一段你只要叙述健康的重要性就可以了。第二段和第三段的写作内容还是比较成功的，只是里面有好多的语法错误以及马虎造成的拼写错误导致失分严重，今后写作一定要注意。继续努力！ quR':=S5f  
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