作文批改范例： 6N
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As is shown in the picture, a lamp is shining in a dark place. There is a note above it, saying: （英语中没有冒号，用逗号代替，这里可以变成that,引导宾语从句） love is a lamp,（变成句号，后面注意大写） the darker the place is, the brighter （这里应该用副词，修饰的是动词shine,所以应该是the more brightly）the lamp shines. It is not difficult to find the symbolic meaning of the picture: （用句号，后面另起一句，注意大写）we should give our help to the ones who needs it （People who need it）and do our best to let them feel warm. j*jo@N |
The picture reminds ue（us） of the fact that in the recent earthquake in Sichuan, China, （用句号） people at home and abroad donated a large sum of money to the victims. As we know, the earthquake had maked （made）many people loss （用动词原形，lose，这里是make sb. do sth/的用法）their home and property. Some people has （删掉，用一般过去时就可以了）lost their relatives forever. However, the love from the whole world help （Helps，这个动词的主语是love,注意主谓一致）them pick up the pieces, and give them confidence and courage to live on. u'W8;G*~
As the saying goes: （用逗号）every coin has two sides. We should pass our love through the proper ways. I suggest that we must donate something useful to the regular organizations, like the Red Cross Insititution. （拼写错误，institution） And helping the victims in（at） the first time may be the most important thing, because they will feel lonely as they're in trouble. Only with our love and contribution, I am sure, would our society become more （删掉比较合适，因为这两个形容词的比较级形式不一样，你只用一个more是不行的）warm and harmonious. zSja/yq
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点评：11-12分 Uu(SR/R}
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文章的结构清晰，层次分明，内容充实，例证具有说服力。语言的运用能力很强。总体看来还是不错的，但是需要你注意文中出现的细节错误，尤其的关于标点符号的正确使用方面，希望你注意，该用的时候一定要用，来断开意群，不该用的时候一定不要用，会造成误解的。注意单词的正确拼写，包括单词本身的拼写，变换形式的拼写。这些错误看似很小，却能影响你的分数，希望你改正。加油。
