考博作文批改范例二

考博作文批改范例： (s,*soAN  
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Good Health 6M"]p  
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  The desire for good health is universal. Not only man or woman, but also old or young are hope have good health with social progress. （第一句已经说了渴望健康是人人都有的。所以第二句话明显是多余的。只不过是把第一句话解释了一下。很罗嗦。）Owing to it is a essential require to high quality study,work or life.（这句话的语法结构不正确，应该是good health is essential to us. ） $+sNjwv^F  
  There are many ways to keep fit. For exampel (注意拼写错误), on（in） the first place, we could take some physical exercises .We can run,swim , play tennis or others. On (in)the second place, we shoud (should,拼写) balance diet, （改成句号，后面注意大写）we eat meat, rice, vegetables and friut （拼写）every day. Of cause, we do not forget to drink water, it is important to you（前面用的代词we,这里却用了you,一定要保持人称代词一致，否则会出现混乱。）. Finally, we shoud （拼写）keep a nice mood. +>oVc\$  
   As a college student, when I have free time ,I often take pyhsical （拼写）exercises, sometimes I runs （主谓要一致）alone the racetrack, sometimes rids （拼写错误）bicycle on the street. I am also careful with my diet and I often drinks white water. on the whole, it is important to have good health than everthing（拼写）. 'Z-jj2t}  
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点评： & h9ji[  
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　　首先，第一段要写健康的重要性，你写的过于笼统。语言方面，注意拼写错误，注意主谓一致，文中有多处主谓一致问题，不在一一指出，望今后加以注意。注意人称代词要一致的问题。注意标点符号的正确使用。加油！继续努力！ Rtn.cSd  
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