I had an experience some years ago which taught mesomething about the ways in which people make a bad situation worse by blamingthemselves. One January, I had to officiate at two funerals on successive daysfor two elderly women in my community. Both had died "full of years,"as the Bible would say; both yielded to the normal wearing out of the bodyafter a long and full life. Their homes happened to be near each other, so Ipaid condolence (吊唁) calls on thetwo families on the same afternoon.
At the first home, the son of the deceased (已故的) woman said to me, "If only I had sent my mother to Floridaand gotten her out of this cold and snow, she would be alive today. It's myfault that she died." At the second home, the son of the other deceasedwoman said, "If only I hadn't insisted on my mother's going to Florida,she would be alive today. That long airplane ride, the abrupt change ofclimate, was more than she could take. It's my fault that she's dead."
When things don't turn out as we would like them to, itis very tempting to assume that had we done things differently, the story wouldhave had a happier ending. Priests know that any time there is a death, thesurvivors will feel guilty. Because the course of action they took turned outbadly, they believe that the opposite course - keeping Mother at home,postponing the operation C would have turned out better. After all, how couldit have turned out any worse?
There seem to be two elements involved in our readinessto feel guilt. The first is our pressing need to believe that the world makessense, that there is a cause for every effect and a reason for everything thathappens. That leads us to find patterns and connections both where they reallyexist and where they exist only in our minds.
The second element is the notion that we are the cause ofwhat happens, especially the bad things that happen. It seems to be a shortstep from believing that every event has a cause to believing that everydisaster is our fault. The roots of this feeling may lie in our childhood.Psychologists speak of the infantile myth of omnipotence . A baby comes tothink that the world exists to meet his needs, and that he makes everythinghappen in it. He wakes up in the morning and summons the rest of the world toits tasks. He cries, and someone comes to attend to him. When he is hungry,people feed him, and when he is wet, people change him. Very often, we do notcompletely outgrow that infantile notion that our wishes cause things tohappen.
1. What is said about the two deceased elderly women?
A) They lived out a natural life.
B) They died due to lack of care by family members.
C) They died of exhaustion after the long plane ride.
D) They weren't accustomed to the change in weather.
2. The author had to conduct the two women's funeralsprobably because ________.
A) he had great sympathy for the deceased
B) he wanted to console the two families
C) he was priest of the local church
D) he was an official from the community
3. People feel guilty for the deaths of their lovedones because ________
A) they believe that they were responsible
B) they had neglected the natural course of events
C) they couldn't find a better way to express theirgrief
D) they didn't know things often turn out in the oppositedirection
4. In the context of the passage, "... the worldmakes sense" (Line 2, Para, 4) probably means that ________.
A) we have to be sensible in order to understand theworld
B) everything in the world is predetermined
C) there's an explanation for everything in the world
D) the world can be interpreted in different ways
5. People have been made to believe since infancy that________.
A) every story should have a happy ending
B) their wishes are the cause of everything thathappens
C) life and death is an unsolved mystery
D) everybody is at their command
